actually, I'm a sock model
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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