3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize