Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.

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(+79): View more from

You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.

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(585): View more from New York

A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment

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(818): View more from California

ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?

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(850): View more from Florida

Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs

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