Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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