Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
