I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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