everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize