Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
