nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
