but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
