i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
