Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
