the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
