What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My ass is underappreciated
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
