I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
