Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
