She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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