Say something about gay babies.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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