isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize