Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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