Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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