He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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