no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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