True but thats because hes a fetus.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
