Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
