Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
