I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
