I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
