so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
