wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
