So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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