Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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