...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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