I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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