why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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