May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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