You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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