if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
