lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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