Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize