I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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