You made me cry and you don't even care
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
