My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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