Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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