YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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