I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
