i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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