went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
im about as happy as oj after his trial
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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