How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
