dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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