just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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