I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize