I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
