I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
