I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you had me at cake vodka
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
