and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
