Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
