Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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